Pengen ngobrolin sesuatu yang tidak sedang viral. Karena saya kurang tertarik dengan sesuatu yang viral-viral. Bukan karena tidak punya empati, tetapi karena saya merasa yang viral-viral suka menguras energi jadi akhirnya kuabaikan saja.
Oke. Kali ini saya ingin membahas sesuatu yang menyentuh banyak realitas tapi tidak selalu terlihat bahkan sering diabaikan. Mari kita berbicara tentang caregiver (seseorang yang merawat orang sakit).
Caregiver yang ingin saya bahas adalah caregiver informal. Siapa itu caregiver informal? Bisa suami/istri, anak, orang tua, biasanya keluarga dekat.
Sadar tidak kalau kita sering melihat seseorang yang sedang merawat anggota keluarganya, tiba-tiba meninggal. Misalnya istri yang merawat suami atau sebaliknya. Anak yang mengurus orang tua atau sebaliknya. Jadi kita taunya dianya sehat, merawat yang sakit, eh malah meninggal duluan.
”Loh, Ibu itu meninggal? Yang udah lama sakit kan suaminya, ya?”
“Yang sakit kanker kan ibunya ya. Tapi yang meninggal itu anaknya? Anaknya yang selalu ngurus ibunya?”
“Selama ini dia sendiri yang merawat istrinya. Tak disangka bapak itu malah lebih dulu meninggal.”
Fenomena orang yang merawat (caregiver) justru lebih dulu meninggal dibanding yang dirawat memang sering terjadi, dan ini bukan kebetulan. Ada penjelasan ilmiah, psikologis, dan sosial yang saling berkaitan. Saya menemukan beberapa penjelasan tentang ini:
1. Stres Kronis pada Caregiver
Merawat orang sakit, apalagi dalam jangka panjang (misalnya stroke, demensia, kanker), sangat menguras energi fisik dan emosional. Caregiver sering mengalami:
- Stres berkepanjangan
- Kurang tidur
- Rasa cemas, sedih, marah, rasa bersalah
- Beban mental karena harus kuat terus
Stres kronis bisa memicu gangguan jantung, melemahkan sistem imun, hingga mempercepat penuaan biologis.
2. Mengabaikan Kesehatan Diri Sendiri
Orang yang merawat cenderung mengesampingkan kebutuhan pribadinya:
- Tidak sempat memeriksakan diri ke dokter
- Pola makan buruk
- Tidak cukup istirahat
- Jarang bergerak atau berolahraga
Lama-lama ini menumpuk dan bisa memicu penyakit serius yang tidak terdeteksi hingga terlambat.
3. Beban Emosional dan Rasa Tanggung Jawab Tinggi
Beban emosional dan perasaan ini muncul terutama pada pasangan, sering kali muncul keyakinan bahwa:
“Saya harus kuat demi dia.”
“Saya harus terlihat baik-baik saja di depan dia.” (padahal mungkin sudah sangat letih)
“Saya tidak boleh mengeluh.”
Belum lagi harus menghadapi emosi dan tingkah laku si orang sakit yang pasti sering naik turun tidak karu-karuan.
Akibatnya, emosi negatif dipendam dan tidak diproses. Ini memperburuk kesehatan mental dan berdampak ke fisik. Beberapa bahkan mengalami burnout berat atau depresi terselubung yang tidak disadari.
4. Respon Tubuh Terhadap Duka dan Kehilangan Harapan
Dalam beberapa kasus, caregiver merasa “tidak ada tujuan hidup” jika pasangan yang dirawat mulai membaik atau justru semakin buruk. Kondisi psikologis seperti “broken heart syndrome” (takotsubo cardiomyopathy) bisa memicu gangguan jantung mendadak.
Apa yang Bisa Dilakukan?
Kalau anggota keluarga kita, atau pasangan kita sakit, sudah pasti kita harus merawatnya karena dia adalah orang yang kita kasihi, bagian dari diri kita, tidak mungkin kita dibiarkan. Kalau kita ada di posisi ini sebaiknya kita:
- Memberi ruang dan dukungan untuk caregiver: waktu istirahat, bantuan sosial, dan pendampingan psikologis.
- Bergantian dengan anggota keluarga yang lain
- Jika memungkinkan gunakanlah bantuan caregiver formal (perawat atau babysitter professional)
- Menyadari bahwa merawat diri sendiri bukan egois, tapi syarat agar bisa tetap merawat orang lain.
Apakah saat ini kamu salah satu caregiver itu? Semangat ya.
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