“Sayang Kok Nggak Kerasa?” Tentang Love Language yang Sering Salah Paham
Pernah nggak sih kamu ngerasa udah berusaha banget buat jadi pasangan yang baik… tapi kok dia tetap aja merasa kurang dicintai?
Atau sebaliknya:
Kamu merasa butuh banget diperhatikan, tapi pasanganmu sibuk ngelakuin hal lain yang menurut dia adalah bentuk cinta.
Akhirnya kamu jadi mikir,
“Sebenernya dia sayang nggak sih sama aku?”
Eits, jangan buru-buru mikir yang aneh-aneh.
Bisa jadi kalian sama-sama sayang, tapi beda “bahasa cinta”.
Apa Itu Love Language?

Love language atau bahasa cinta itu istilah yang diperkenalkan oleh Dr. Gary Chapman.
Intinya: setiap orang punya cara berbeda dalam memberi dan menerima cinta.
Kalau kita ngerti bahasa cinta pasangan, hubungan jadi lebih nyambung.
Kalau nggak? Ya sering salah paham.
Ada 5 Love Language yang Paling Umum:
- Words of Affirmation
Ada orang yang suka mendengar kata-kata manis, berupa pujian, atau sekadar “aku bangga sama kamu” bisa bikin hati bahagia. - Acts of Service
Membantu pasangan dalam hal-hal kecil seperti membantu menyapu, masakin mie, atau mengangkatkan barang-barang belanjaannya… itu cinta banget buat mereka. - Receiving Gifts
Seseorang dengan love language ini suka dikasih hadiah, bahkan yang kecil-kecil seperti coklat kesukaan atau seikat mawar, itu bisa bikin dia merasa diperhatikan. - Quality Time
Waktu berduaan yang sangat berkualitas. Bisa ngobrol tanpa gangguan, duduk berdua, nonton bareng, atau sekadar nemenin belanja tanpa pegang HP… priceless sih ini. - Physical Touch
Pernah lihat seseorang yang sangat suka disentuh? Bahasa cintanya bisa jadi physical touch. Berikan pelukan, cium kening, gandengan tangan… itu kayak charger emosional buatnya.
Contoh Masalah Love Language:

Misal kamu tipe Receiving Gifts — kamu berharap dikasih sesuatu. Tapi pasanganmu ternyata Acts of Service — dia merasa udah menunjukkan cinta dengan bantuin kamu ngurus rumah.
Kamu ngerasa: “Kok dia nggak perhatian sih?”
Dia ngerasa: “Lho, aku udah bantu semua ini buat kamu loh…” Sama-sama cinta, tapi nggak connect.
Love Language yang Lain:

Ternyata Aku… Butuh Dikasih Ruang
Aku sendiri?
Dari lima itu, aku nyambung dikit sama Receiving Gifts, tapi yang paling bikin aku merasa dicintai justru… kalau dikasih ruang.
Waktu sendiri. Me time. Dikasih jeda tanpa drama.
Bukan karena mau menjauh, tapi karena itu bantu aku merasa utuh.
Dan itu ternyata bisa disebut sebagai bentuk cinta juga — respect dan empati.
Nggak semua orang butuh dipeluk tiap hari. Ada yang butuh dihormati batasnya, itu juga cinta.
Pasangan aku beda lagi. Dia butuh banget quality time dan physical touch.
Dia ngerasa dicintai kalau aku duduk di sebelahnya, dengerin cerita, atau sekadar gandengan tangan di motor.
Awalnya kami sering salah paham.
Tapi sejak tahu “bahasa masing-masing”, kami mulai belajar saling nerjemahin.
Nggak gampang, tapi makin ngerti, makin terasa:
“Oh… kamu tuh sayang, cuma caramu beda.”
Jadi Gimana Mengetahui Love Language?

Coba obrolin deh sama pasangan:
“Bahasa cintamu apa sih?”
Bukan buat nyalahin, tapi biar ngerti.
Karena cinta itu bukan soal sebanyak apa kamu ngasih, tapi sejauh mana dia bisa merasakannya.
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